- They will walk all over you.
“Yes, that’s fine, I’d just had my hair done, but that’s OK. How about tomorrow we go for a walk outside rather than just on top of my head?”
- They will do anything to lick your face.
“Despite my facial expression, I do enjoy kisses from my dog. No really, I do. Just if someone could please pass me a towel now that’d be great.”
- They steal your clothes to take them into their bed.
“That’s fine, I didn’t like those jeans anyway. However, if tomorrow the chosen item is my new Chanel tweed skirt then we might have to have words.”
- They bring you toys every two minutes.
“If I throw another toy again today I think my arm may just drop off. I know you’re cute and adorable but I just don’t have the energy. Oh OK, maybe one more time then.”
- They will always try to sit on your knee.
- They want to follow you everywhere.
“You’ve been in there for two minutes now, which is more than enough time. Don’t just stare at me, and stay there. Fine I’ll start licking your leg until you move.”
- They will always jump on you.
“Human! I’ve missed you! No, don’t push me away; I want to lick your face.”
- They will cry hysterically when they haven’t seen you for a matter of seconds.
“Well you left me for a whole ten seconds, which just isn’t very nice. What’s this mess you ask? I don’t know; I think it was the cat.”
- They get jealous if you go near another animal.
“I know it was wrong of me. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I promise it will never happen again.”
- And if anyone goes near you.
“I don’t like people going near my human. She’s my human. Find your own human.”
- They give you those ‘puppy dog eyes’ all the time.
No matter what they want, they will always get it if they give you this look. How can you possibly be cross when they look at you like this?!
- They let you dress them up.
Even though they’re not impressed one bit, they love you enough to let you do this to them. Just don’t take advantage and do it too often.
- They chew everything you love and cherish.
That new cushion you bought… why did you even bother? Then again, it’s almost worth it to see your adorable pooch covered in feathers.
- They will wake you up at every available opportunity.
“It’s 6AM human, which is far too much of a lie in already. I’ve tried to make as much noise as I possibly can but that doesn’t seem to be doing the trick. So I’m going to hit you in the face until you wake up.”
- They will always wait at the window for you.
“You always leave me for such a long time. If you don’t come back soon I’m going to have to rip something to pieces, and then you won’t be very happy now will you?”